Ichigo's Wonderland
by BigBoom550
Summary: The last story Ichigo was ever told by his mother was Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. Now, seven years later, Ichigo is going to see just how far the Rabbit Hole goes... With new friends, strange phobias, and a complete lack of shame, Ichigo is ready to walk through Wonderland... are you? (No pairings as of yet). 'T' for silliness and obscure humor.
1. Introduction

PROLOGUE

Ichigo Kurosaki looked down at the pocketwatch as he walked to school, muttering to himself.

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late..."

If one heard him, they would think he was anxious as he was actually late for something. No, Ichigo merely repeated this as he walked, looking at the watch, as part of his own personality. He was quite on time, actually. A quirk of his, the result of what anyone would call traumatic. It was not an elegant pocket watch, by any means, but it held a special place in Ichigo's heart- it was a gift from his mother, shortly before her death. A gift that she gave him to make sure that he would never be late, never.

Not three days later, Ichigo was Late. He was Very Late for a Very Important Date.

He was Late with No Time to Say Goodbye.

So, Ichigo Kurosaki always made sure that he was never Late for a Very Important Date, and always made sure to take wisdom when he found it. His father often worried about him, as did his sisters, as Ichigo had an almost absurd fear of being late. 'Allegrophobia' the doctors called it.

Ichigo would merely ask if they were ever late. They would say no, and he would nod.

"You should never be Late to a Very Important Date." He would say, and the doctors would nod, smiling and agreeing with the teen, not understanding how important being On Time was to Ichigo, and how being Late was an absolutely dreadful occurrence.

Of course, there were those that understood the importance of Being On Time, and those that did not. Ichigo perfered not to associate with the latter, as they most often would complain about the lack of control in their own lives, and the sorrows that befell them for it.

Ichigo did not complain, as he held control over his life. After all, control stems from organization, and organization starts with Being On Time. Thus, by being On Time and Never Late, Ichigo could maintain control over his life, preventing the problems that come with Being Late from ever occuring.

Oh, certainly, there were those times where something would happen that prevented Ichigo from Being On Time to his original route- but he merely felt that it was another Rabbit Hole.

Rabbit Holes were simple things to Ichigo. They could be the option to take a new job, or being fired from one, or another event occuring. When a Rabbit Hole did occur, then Ichigo would make a decision- should he go down that Rabbit Hole, and see how far it led, or should he pass it by, Not to Be Late? Each case was different, each case easier or harder to make than the others.

If, for example, his younger sister broke a bone, then Ichigo would fall down that Rabbit Hole without hesitation- after all, he didn't want to be Late for anyone close to him. No, only being On Time would be acceptable, perhaps A Little Bit Early if he could. It was never accepted to be Far Earlier than Expected- that, in and of itself, suggested that you expected something bad to happen. With that, one could easily be Late, or Not in the Right Place at All.

He smiled as he snapped the pocket watch closed, before turning back to his walk, shouldering his bag, and tugging his hat that little bit lower on his head. Some would call him obsessed, some would call him strange. His reply, like on Being On Time, was always simple.

"We're all a Little Bit Mad."

* * *

I decided to try something different out. This seems to have hints of Stephen King in it, along with some 'deeper' thoughts- rest assured, this will become a fairly silly story as it grows, and something that I think has potential.

Ichigo is going to be far different. Yes, he is still going to be determined, but in a different fashion. He'll be sillier, closer to the characters of Lewis Carroll's 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland'. He'll be silly, strange, but make a bizarre sense at the same time.

On that note- any ideas as to what his Zanpakto should be named, appearance, powers, etc? Say it in a review or drop me a PM if you're interested, or have an idea.

Pairings? I can see some great contrasts occuring, and I'd like some imput. Only:

No yaoi. I don't like it, I don't read it. If you do, that's fine, but I don't.

Not Rukia. I like Ichiruki, but it's hard to pull off convincingly.

Nobody under the physical appearance of 16. No Loli.

Give me a reason. I don't want to hear 'oh, Ichi/X would be adorable!'. Why. Tell me why. Like (As crackish as this one is) 'Ichigo/Unohana would be adorable because Ichigo is so insane and Unohana is so serene and calm all the time!'

The next chapters will be more optimistic, I promise. So far, Chapter One: Down the Rabbit Hole will include his relationships with living characters (Family, friends, nemesis's. You know.)


	2. Chapter 1: At school

**Yay for Spring Break.**

**Whelp, now that I have time, I can get to writing. Yay for me. Anyway, this is a take on a possible Bleach universe, with a more... unique... Ichigo. I am open to suggestions, and look forward to how people respond to this.**

**Without further ado, Chapter One: Late**

* * *

Ichigo Kurosaki was a unique individual.

Oh, certainly, he was unique in his hair color- a bright, strawberry orange that was certain to catch anyone's attention, especially with how it formed into spikes- and his height, which was far above average for people of his age, at just over six feet. His family was quite unique as well. Two younger sisters, who each complimented the other, and a father with a tendency to scare off any girls- Ichigo learned that after the first time- but who could turn serious at the drop of a hat, in addition to living in a medical clinic.

But what really made Ichigo Kurosaki unique were two, crucial factors. The first was his ability to perceive spirits- or ghosts, or specters, or what have you- and even physically interact with them, as if they were really there, and not... whatever it was that made spirits. In any event, he saw a different world.

The second thing was his mind. Ichigo Kurosaki sat at the top of the class, but he was often considered... strange by the other students. He had a white rabbit on his backpack, along with a pocket watch. Nobody cared much for the rabbit- it was not something many noticed- but the pocket watch was a device that drew their attention. Ichigo would often look at it, and was very meticulous as to its care. The one time that a group of thugs attempted to steal the clock from him... well, it took both Yasutora Sado, called 'Chad' by Ichigo, and one of the larger janitors to prevent Ichigo from beating them to death. In short, it was quite violent.

Nobody was quite sure as to what made Ichigo this way, save for a few. Tatsuki Arisawa occasionally hinted at the cause, but was never direct, and would outright refuse to answer questions as to what made Ichigo tick. In regards to those that persisted, one or two warnings was sufficient to dissuade them. Chad would simply look down at whoever decided to ask, and would state that it was not his place to tell about Ichigo's history, and that he would not answer. Nobody was in a position to attempt to force it out of him, and so, it was not a topic often brought up. If a new student was transferred in, then there would be a short burst of curiosity about the orange-haired boy, but that quickly faded. Those brave enough to ask Ichigo himself merely got a rather scary smile- his lips almost reaching his ears, it seemed- a tilted head, and a simple response.

"Now, now... Curiosity killed the cat, don't you know?"

After that, most students would ignore his behavior, as they did not see the teachers worrying over it. It was not disruptive, nor was it in any way threatening, so most were content to let it by.

After school, Ichigo would head directly home, glancing at his watch on occasion. To many, it would seem like magic that as he walked to the crosswalks, the lights would stop, and allow him to cross. No, rather, it was merely a very good sense of timing that allowed him to cross non-stop from school to home, very rarely even having to look at the lights more than once or twice, to make sure that he was On Time.

He would be home at precisely 4:30 PM every day that he had school, and would quickly prepare a snack if his siblings were not home, or receive one of Yuzu's rather nice creations. If his father was home, he would step to the side, or knock his father away as he attempted a flying kick, or grab, or tackle, or whatever it was that occurred to the elder Kurosaki male.

At 4:45, he would begin homework. From then until 7:00 he was working, making sure that each question was answered correctly, and that he was accurate in all statements. At precisely 7:00, he walked down the stairs and had dinner with his family. Isshin Kurosaki would attempt some form of silly amusement- placing chopsticks in his nose, making a noodle mustache, that sort of childish festivity- at which Yuzu would giggle, placing hand over her mouth, Karin would roll her eyes (though if one looked, they could see the hint of a smile), and Ichigo would smile slightly at the three, glad that they had the chance to be innocent and carefree at their ages- his sisters at age eleven, still young, and his father in his forties- and a medical doctor- no less, a former mortician! As such, he could only smile, and enjoy the festivities of the family. After all, it was the only one he had.

After dinner, he would work with his father on paperwork if needed, or help his sisters with their homework should they need it, and then spend the remainder of his time in some form of relaxation. Anything from music, to tea, to even writing poetry- something that he found helped him relax quite a bit.

Now, here he sat, at about three hours until midnight, writing in his notebook, when he heard a soft call.

"Ichi-nii?"

Smiling to himself, Ichigo stood up and left his room, soon entering his younger sister's room. Karin was quite asleep, the covers tugged tight over her, but Yuzu was wide awake, sitting up in bed.

"What is it, Yuzu?"

"I can't sleep..." Yuzu muttered. "Can you tell me a story?"

Ichigo smiled. "Of course. Let's see... what story do you want to hear?" he gently asked, sitting on the bed next to his sister.

"Um... can you pick one?" Yuzu timidly asked, giving him the dreaded puppy eyes. Not that she would need to -Ichigo was a brother who would do anything for his sisters.

Ichigo nodded. "Of course." he placed a finger to his chin in exagerated thought. He had a story in mind since Yuzu called, but she didn't need to know that. After a few minutes, he smiled. It was a simple story, not one that was overly complex, but one that he could tell all the same. After about fifteen minutes, Yuzu fell asleep, and Ichigo was free to return to his writing.

"Ichigo."

The so-named teenager turned, looking at his father, who was almost casually leaning against the wall. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to check in on you, make sure that you're alright. You've been quiet tonight."

"...It's nothing." Ichigo finally stated. "I just feel... strange. Like a new rabbit hole is coming up, so to speak."

Isshin nodded. "I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thank you."

* * *

The next day, Ichigo arrived exactly on time to school. As with every day, he took his seat, produced his notebook, and sat patiently as he waited for-

"Ichigooooooo-"

Without looking, Ichigo raised one arm, clotheslined Keigo as he charged, and then glanced at the boy. With a nod, he produced his pocket watch, and made a minor adjustment.

"Thank you, Keigo. It seems that I _can_, in fact, set my watch to you. Thank you."

"Don't... mention... it..." Keigo groaned out from the floor, holding his nose. "That's what friends are for!"

Ichigo absently nodded, before opening his notebook as Tatsuki entered, along with a buxom orange-haired girl, who was chattering on about some strange concoction of cheese, chocolate cake, and hotsauce. The Kurosaki gave them a glance, making brief eye contact with Tatsuki, and turned back to his notebook. Meanwhile, Keigo was drooling as he looked at the girl.

"Mizuiro! Isn't Orihime-chan so amazing!?"

"Whatever you say, Asano-"

"OUT OF THE WAY! I MUST EMBRACE MY HIME!" Chizuru yelled as she raced towards the pair. Ichigo produced his watch again, making a second adjustment as the rather aggressive class lesbian was launched by, before nodding again.

"Oh, come on, you can set your watch to that too?" Keigo demanded.

"Yes." Was Ichigo's deadpan response. "You and Chizuru-san are extremely predictable. In fact, you usally have about 13.45 seconds between incidents. First, you attempt to seize me, and then Chizuru-san attempts to seize Inoue-san. It's rather predicable. Although, it does save effort..." he finished with a somewhat thoughtful expression. "Perhaps we should send you to France, and you can be stored next to the kilogram.*"

"Ichigo~" Keigo whined, before a shadow fell over them.

"Hey." Chad offered, scaring the smaller redhead. "How are you today?"

"I am quite well. And you, Chad?"

The two had first met in an incident where Chad sought to regain his coin, something that he got from his grandfather. Ichigo, understanding of the importance that an item could hold for someone, was quick to assist. The two had reached an agreement quickly- to help the other through thick and thin, and to work together.

"Fine." the giant offered, before striding over to his seat. Keigo shivered.

"He's massive!"

"Yes, he is." Ichigo offered. "He is quite tall. That has been established." he looked at his watch again. "And yes, it is on time. Excellent."

Near the front of the class, a boy with his hair pulled back in a loose pony tail sighed, before shaking his head and resuming writing. His respect for others was minimal, but he had to admit, the Kurosaki boy's patience was quite impressive. He would most likely used Sprenger on such an idiot... but to diffuse the situation with slights and humor, that was quite impressive.

"Ichigo~"

"Oh, be quiet Keigo." Ichigo admonished. "It's not as if you're hurting because of this. Why not go find some poor girl to ask out? Perhaps Mizuiro could set you up with the daughters of one of his girlfriends.**"

"Mizuiro~"

"No, my apologies Asano-san. I do not think that would be proper."

"You're dating people old enough to be your mother."

Ichigo slowly tuned them out, waiting for the teacher to enter the room. Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpsed a spot of black.

"Strange... what was that?" he could have sworn that- whatever it was- was human in some form, yet... it flickered and vanished before he could get a good look. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

Shrugging, he returned his attention to the teacher just entering, ignoring the continued bickering of Keigo and Mizuiro. The two were quickly silenced, so that the teacher could actually do her job, rather than deal with two idiots.

In the back of Ichigo's soul, a hatted figure pondered if they would like some tea.

* * *

At lunch, Ichigo sat with Chad, Keigo, and Mizuiro on the roof, each eating their lunch.

"So this girl was totally hot, right, and-"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow as Keigo continued to babble on about his latest excapades. On some level, he was amused. On another, he was annoyed that the boy simply would _not shut up._

He tilted his head as that exact thought ran through his head, and for a moment, he wondered who else had to deal with that.

* * *

"Ken-chan!"

"No."

"Ken-chan!"

"No."

"KEN-CHAN!"

"I SAID NO!"

* * *

With a shrug, he pushed the thoughts from his mind. Not his problem, not at all. It wasn't likely that he ever would have to deal with something along those lines outside of school, and he did not want to.

"So then I-"

He looked over at Chad. "So, have you found a new job yet?"

"I'm going to be working at a construction site." Chad stated, calm as always. "What about you? Is your job at the Unagiya shop going well?"

"As well as it can, I suppose." Ichigo responded. "It could always be far worse."

"AND THEN SHE HEARD I WAS UNEMPLOYED! RUINED!"

"I suppose it could. You could end up like Keigo."

Ichigo nodded, turning back to his food. "I could... that would be bad."

"It would."

* * *

That night, as Ichigo sat in his room, he paused as a black butterfly flitted in. He tilted his head to the side lightly, raising an eyebrow.

"Strange. The window was closed."

The butterfly flitted around, then Ichigo got his second shock.

A black-haired girl stepping into his room, though the closed window.

"...Oh this can't be good."

* * *

**Author's notes**

**So, Ichigo's a bit OCD. I think that writing his character could be fun.**

***In France, there is a vault. In said vault is a piece of mass that weighs exactly one kilogram. This is the point of reference for all modern mass measurement. (THE MORE YOU KNOW). Seriously.**

****Remember, Mizuiro is into older women. Like, WAY older women. I'm not getting into those issues, though.**

**...With 70,000 Bleach fics, why has nobody written one for Mizuiro and older women? Just wondering.**

**I think that Ichigo setting his watch to the insanity around him is going to be a regular joke, actually. I mean... he could use Matsumoto shirking work, or Hitsugaya losing it, Kyoraku drinking...**

**Now that I think about it, you COULD set your watch to the characters of Bleach. Rukia's drawing, Kenpachi fighting, Yamamoto going genocidal or being accused of going genocidal... ow.**

**Scary.**

**Anyway, this was shorter than my regular chapters, but the next one will be longer. I thought this was a good place to stop- not much tension, new lines, etc. **


	3. Enter the white rabbit, down the hole

Ichigo raised an eyebrow as the woman stepped into his room. Her black hair hung loose, fanning down across her shoulders. His other eyebrow came up when he saw that she had violet eyes, a most unusual color. She wore what appeared to be a black uniform of sorts, seemingly from an era gone by. At her waist hung a katana*. She wore traditional Japanese sandals, which slightly confused Ichigo.

"The pressure is close..." the woman commented, making Ichigo blink. Pressure? Perhaps she was merely confused. In which case, he had the perfect way of getting her attention.

Rising from his desk, he strode across the room and to his closet. Opening it, he looked at the small pile in the corner. With a nod, he picked one particular item up.

It was a green hat, not quite stovepipe, but somewhat more amusing. Instead of extending directly up, the hat curved in around the middle, almost comically. A red sash around the base of the hat held in a tag on the right side- 1/5.

Nodding again, he walked up behind the woman, and with a single motion, placed the hat on her head.

The woman blinked, before reaching up and taking the hat off, turning it over in her hands as she looked at it, clearly confused as to how a hat got onto her head. Of course, Ichigo was far less befuddled as to the process, but he was instrumental in it, so that was to be expected.

"Where did this come from?"

"Ah, you see, that is a hat." Ichigo started, getting the woman to spin around. "And, of course, hats first come from the hatter, who makes the hat. In this case, I am the Hatter, and you are the Hattee." he smiled. "Do you like that hat?" he asked, gesturing to the- in his ever-so-biased opinion- rather spectacular headwear that she held in her hands.

The woman blinked. "Um... you can see me?" She questioned, clearly surprised and confused for whatever reason. That should have been expected, as she dressed like some sort of (in Ichigo's case) cosplayer for an anime.

"Of course!" Ichigo proclaimed. "How else would I be able to place such a wonderful hat upon your head? After all, the hatter must see the one to be hatted to hat them!" He proclaimed. This was, of course, a completely accurate statement. How _could _a hatter hat an invisible head? With much confusion and agitation, he could assure you.

The woman was visibly unnerved by Ichigo as he continued. "In any event, I haven't the slightest idea. Now, fair madame, I have a riddle for you. How is a raven like a writing desk?" he asked with a Cheshire grin.

"What?" The woman blinked several times in complete confusion as to the question, befuddled quite a bit.

"I haven't the slightest idea about that, either!" He smiled. "But I am certain that you did not come for a hat, nor for a challenge of wits. So then, what do you come for?" He asked with a smile. "Tea, perhaps?" It had been some time since he had a tea party. Quite a few never expected that such a fearsome individual would enjoy tea- quite the opposite. It had become something of a hobby of his, to learn about various teas and their uses.

"N-No. I-I-I'm a Shinigami." The woman was viibly confused as to Ichigo's behavior. "Um... Maybe I had better explain..." To his surprise, she produced a sketch pad and several markers, quickly drawing a picture and holding it up for him to see. The resident hatter tilted his head, pondering the rather bizarre artwork. To him, it seemed like some strange amalgamation of a kindergartner's drawing and post-modern expressionism. However, he did not voice those specific thoughts.

"Are you certain that the rabbits are needed?" Ichigo asked. "If they are, then perhaps you should add a body to the heads." He paused, and tilted his head. "...They are on time, yes?"

"Shut up! Anyway-"

"Where did you get the notepad from, in any event?" Ichigo wondered. "Do Shinigami have some sort of inventory where they can contain items?" he asked, clearly traveling on a path that ignored whatever it was that the woman wanted to say to him. She, however, was not amused by his pondering, and made that quite clear.

"It's not important! Anyway, the Shinigami are tasked with making sure that pure souls go to Soul Society, alright? But if we don't get to them fast enough, then evil souls called Hollows will eat them."

"...Hollows." Ichigo deadpanned, not having anything snappy to say to that particular statement.

"Yes. The only way to kill a Hollow is to destroy the mask that they wear." The woman nodded as if what she said was bound to make perfect sense to whoever it was that said or heard it.

Ichigo nodded. "I see... and do you, perhaps, talk with the Queen of Hearts and have tea with the Cheshire Cat?" he smiled. "After all, this just sounds like a fantastic story from a children's fairy tale." In the back of his mind, he giggled at the idea that rabbits were involved in very many fairy tales. Perhaps that was it- the rabbit was traveling through a land of fairy tales, ensuring that it was On Time to each and every Date.

Always important to be On Time.

"It's not!" The woman protested, eye twitching. For some reason, Ichigo thought she did that quite a bit- it seemed like a practiced motion.

"Oh, hush." Ichigo waved her off. "All I've seen so far is a made-up story- remarkably well made-up- but nothing that proves that you are what you say you are, and that these 'Hollows' exist, or anything for that matter." he raised an eyebrow. "Well?" he asked, clearly challenging the woman to provide some form of proof as to her claims. After all, did not Alice see many strange and wonderful things in Wonderland?

"...Bakudo one- Sai." The woman muttered, pointing her finger directly at Ichigo. There was a slight pulse of something, and...

Ichigo's eyes widened as his hands were ripped behind his back and he tipped forward, collapsing onto the floor. "...Well, this certainly is strange. Definitely the first time I have been in this position." he confessed. "...Although the implications are most unpleasant."

The woman smirked. "Believe me now?"

"Not quite. After all, this could merely be fishing line or what have you." At this, the woman sweatdropped.

"Fishing line?"

"Of course!" Ichigo answered. "Because of the badgers!"

"...Badger-" she was cut off by a roar from outside. "That was a Hollow!"

Ichigo growled as she ran outside, followed by a scream.

"Yuzu!" He was angry, now. One could deliver an immense amount of abuse to Ichigo, and it would take some time to make him angry. Quite a bit of time, in fact. But... touch one hair on the head of someone he cares about...

And he will think nothing of ripping you _limb from limb_.

His eyes seemed to darken, face contorting into a snarl. Thrashing about for a moment, Ichigo quickly sprang to his feet, ignoring the pain of his arms held behind his back. With a roar, he slammed through the door of his room and took off. He tripped down the stairs, hitting his shoulders and back, but was quickly upright. In a rapid blur of motion, he stood next to the woman.

"Yuzu!" he yelled again, seeing some sort of... monster, massive, with a boar's head, holding her off the ground. "Let her go!"

The woman snarled at him. "Get back! You're in the..." she trailed off as Ichigo began straining against the spell, seeking to break it through sheer strength. "You idiot! Stop! You could do irreparable damage to your-" In a flash of light, Ichigo was racing forward, grabbing a chair as he ran.

"Let her go!"

The monster didn't even so much as glance at him. It did, however, swing around. Its free hand slammed into Ichigo, lifting the boy off and sending him flying. He tumbled down the street, rolling to a rough stop.

"Gah..."

"Idiot! It's going after your spiritual energy!"

Ichigo shakily stood up, and glared at the creature. "Then come on! Eat me! Let her go!" he yelled, waving his arms to get the creature's attention. "Damnit! Look over here you oversized pig baboon! I am tasty, eat me!"

As the creature lunged forward, the woman was suddenly in front of him. THe creature's mouth closed over her arm, and she yelled out.

"Idiot!" The creature let go, and she collapsed. Ichigo dragged her over to a lamppost, eyes wide.

"Can you do anythign!?"

THe woman gasped in pain. "Take... my sword... and stab yourself in.. the heart..."

"...Seriously?"

"Yes, damnit!"

Ichigo took the blade and pointed it at his heart. "You'd better be right, you crazy little Shinigami."

"My name... is Rukia Kuchiki..."

"Ichigo Kurosaki"

_SHNK_

* * *

The Hollow Blitz never expected what was happening. First, it shows up in this pathetic town. Nothing's going on. So, it wanders around, until it feels this slightly larger pressure. To be honest, it was like the difference between shit and sugar-coated shit, but hey. Sugar.

So he goes heading that direction, grabbing Twitch on the way. They get there, and Twitch runs off- saying that something feels really wrong. Blitz just thought he was a pussy. After all, it wasn't that large of a pressure.

So he goes to eat this little girl, and some idiot runs at him with a chair. Before he knows it, the idiot is yelling to eat him, and the pressure is fluxuating. So Bliyz goes after him, and then this dumbass Shinigami blocks him.

Wait, what the hell? Why the hell is the Shinigami stabbing the human-

Oh. Man, that smells GOOD.

* * *

Ichigo reached up to grip the blade on his back. Before the Hollow could respond, he slashed its leg, before stepping back to let the beast fall. It collapsed onto the ground, and Ichigo gained a rather feral grin.

"Beware the Jabberwok, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch!" He giggled, a strange, eerie, other-worldly sound. IT was then that the Shinigami realized that she may have made a mistake- this human, whoever he was, was clearly mad. The very core, the very definition of insanity was this human, this boy. From somwhere in her hazy, oxygen-deprived mind, she laughed.

Mad as a hatter.

As Ichigo walked forward, he continued to giggle. "Oh, what a sad state of affairs. Tell me, oh tall Hollow, who invited you to this party? After all, it is rather rude to sit without being offered a seat, you know. Then again, I can be hospitable. Would you like some tea?"

**_"Tea!?"_** The Hollow yelled, angry. _**"What the hell does tea have to do with**** anything!?"**_Even a fool could tell that the Hollow was quite angry- angry enough that it began to lift itself up with its arms, intent on biting Ichigo.

"Oh, but that's a shame. It's my special tea, my _special tea... _my _specialty."¢_

With that, his massive sword flashed around, slicing the mask of the Hollow in half. Ichigo nodded as it disintegrated, before sheathing his blade and turning back to Rukia.

"Now, what is it that Shinigami do?"

* * *

In a colorful forest, sideways, two figures waited.

The first was a dark-clad figure, appearing as a middle-aged man, well-built and focused. His dark hair seemed to blow in an invisible wind, and his eyes remained focused on something in the distance. It was clear that this individual was a powerful man, who would commit to a goal and remained focused until he achieved it. There was no doubt that this figure was a force of absolute order, structure, organization and planning.

The other was a far, far more colorful figure. His hat was on his head in a tilt, as if the man had rushed to put it on. On one side was a large patch, a far darker shade of green than the remainder of the headwear. His white, fuzzy hair erupted from under the fine ornament for one's noggin, completely unconfined and uncontrolled. The man wore a scruffy, green coat, and had two large front teeth. This man was a force of chaos, of entropy. The very essence of what defined potential.

"So, my friend, when shall our final guest arrive? I simply must have tea with him!" the shorter of the two declared, looking at the taller, who was standing on a tree. Interestingly, the man seemed to have no trouble standing, even with the apparent winds.

The dark figure sighed. "Ichigo will come in time, we must be patient." He looked up. "As it is, it's not raining... although, it would be nice to see him face-to-face."

"Oh yes it would be. He should come soon, though. Being late would not be good, not good in the slightest!" the shorter paused to take a sip of tea. "Tea?"

The man nodded. "Half a cup, if you would."

He did indeed recieve half a cup, althouugh, it was half... vertically.

"There you are, my friend!"

The taller had nothing to say at all to the shorter.

* * *

***Pet peeve of mine. Not all Japanese swords are katanas. Unohana uses a nodachi- a massive blade, almost impractical. Gin uses a wakizashi, which is a partner sword to a katana. Iba has a tanto. Soifon uses a tachi- a blade that was stored just as she does. Although, most zanpakto in Bleach are, in fact, katana. Ichigo's 'sealed' state could be compared to a zanbato- which is entirely fictional. NOBODY used swords that size- it would require immense amounts of strength just to hold properly, never mind use it.**

**As far as Ichigo having Zangetsu and this other blade, that was actually an idea that came as a result of a review from Destiny-Shadow-Walker. (Send them an inter-cookie!) As far as his Shikai, it won't be the massive cleaver... not at all. No, I'm still pondering what Zangetu/(Other spirit- NO SPOILERS)'s shikai is. I'm thinking a tea set. That could be amusing... "GETSUGA CHA!" (Moon fang tea).**

**...Okay, yeah, I have nothing on that one. Anyway, I'll be drawing from the 'Hatters' of multiple universes.**

**¢: Yay for Arkham City.**

**Also, I got some CRAZY ideas... trust me, you'll love them, my wonderful readers!**

**Up next: Urahara has a nice hat, Ichigo discovers that spirits cannot, in fact, consume tea, Rukia is called a 'hare', and Chad ponders why he is the only sane man.**


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